When we blame ourselves for not being good enough. We are focusing on what we don’t have. We may feel jealous, sad, frustrated, angry or hopeless. We might say or think things like:
“I wish I looked like that”
“If only I loved exercise like them”
“Why is it so easy for them to get pregnant?”
“If only I had her job”
👉PUTTING OTHERS ON A PEDESTAL:
When we compare in this way then we can tend to think that everything goes right in the other person’s life. We need to remember that everyone struggles, everyone faces challenges and just because it looks like they have the perfect body, job, finances or family it doesn’t mean that they feel that they do.
We all only have a limited amount of time and energy so if the people we are comparing ourselves to are putting all their time, energy and focus on one aspect of their life then they are not nurturing other areas of their life. So if I am solely focused on work then I will be out of balance in other areas of my life such as my health, my relationships, fun such as hobbies etc.
Let me offer 3 steps to stop unhealthy comparing:
1. Awareness:
Become aware of when you are comparing yourself to others and then feel not good enough e.g. is it people on social media, TV, people in work etc.?
2. Replace:
You can now give yourself permission to limit your time around people who trigger you both in real life and online. Instead try to surround yourself with people and content you respect and inspire you. Here you can use comparison to feel seen as they share their struggles and also to feel more motivated.
3. Work on your self-worth:
🌟Keep drawing your attention back to your strengths and things to be grateful for in your life instead of what you feel you might be lacking.
🌟 Plan out small little consistent steps to move you forward in achieving a goal you would like to accomplish. Don’t forget to tell yourself well done and acknowledge the effort and work you put in at various times throughout your journey to accomplish this goal. Use times of failure to figure out what is the lesson here or what adjustments will support you to get back on track rather than using it as a way to give out to yourself.
🌟 Focus on what and who you want more of in your life.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Rosevelt
